I grew up in a small town in California. It's not very diverse there. It's quite closed off from the outside world; there are people who've never left California, though it's two hours away. This town is extremely Christian, God fearing, that sort. You know to what I refer. I am not religious. If you've spoken to me on the subject of religion, you'll note that I'm closer to being Jewish than Christian, and that's a pretty long shot. I wanted to give that as background so the following won't seem confusing. Well, it might, but I've done something to avoid that.
Yesterday, I was talking with a friend of mine about going home. I asked when she was heading home for Christmas break. She got highly offended. Apparently it's not "Christmas break." Winter break is appropriate, as is holiday break. It's the whole Jesus birthday thing. I promptly let her know that I'm not a Christian, and that I find her claim that Christmas break is offensive to be complete and utter crap. My evidence is as follows.
All people in the world live on December 25th. Well, some die, but that doesn't matter for this point of argument. Assume that 1/2 of the population is Christian: it's an exaggeration, but assuming that helps both sides because one is further the minority and oppressed and one is further the majority and thought correct. So 1/2 of the world is celebrating Christmas. Happy birthday, big J! The other half isn't. Are they not alive on that day? No, they're alive, they go about a daily routine, get up, brush teeth, shower, eat, do stuff, that sort of thing. Do Jews picket Christian houses saying that the day shouldn't be called Christmas? Do you see Muslims outside of K Mart trying to get a petition signed to have the store stop carrying Christmas items? No. No you do not. It's semantics; I call it Christmas, you call it December twenty-fifth.
How about Easter? Does it boil your buzzard when that day comes around, Jews? How about you, Muslims? Hindus getting bothered by the day being called Easter? I dunno about you, but I find calling something that's not the Christian calender's new year a new year is offensive; Chinese New Year is out! Down with holidays! Religious freedom my ass!
When I said this to her, she said that I should consider what I say; some people aren't as tolerant of offensive things as she. Well, aren't I lucky! I'm so lucky that people are bothered when I call a break an arbitrary name! Habit from my youth comes and bites me in the ass, and I'm lucky!
If you feel offended that somebody calls the break "Christmas break," I ask you to please keep your opinion in your head. I don't say don't voice it, I just ask that you consider what you're really protesting. If you're Jewish, you can get a couple of days off school every day due to religious holidays. If you're Muslim, same thing. If you're Christian, you don't get squat. I'm apathetic in terms of religious; what do I get? Crap, that's right, nothing! If you don't like it being called "Christmas break," then stop taking days off for your own holidays. Is it the fault of anybody who celebrates Christmas that you don't? No. Is it the fault of anybody who celebrates Christmas that the holiday falls on a break, due to the schools in our system being based on a Christian background (I won't deny that there is strong Christian influence in the world).? Nope, again. So, how about those offended realize that what they're protesting is stupid, in and of itself.
Religious tolerance is lacking in our world. Start small; if somebody celebrates Hanukkah and you celebrate Christmas, give them what you think of as a Christmas gift so they can open it for Hanukkah. If you are a Hanukkah celebrator, give your friends their Hanukkah gift for Christmas. If you don't celebrate either, give as your friends would want. Say it's a gift for their chosen holiday, even if you don't follow that belief. It's not too hard to do.
Oh, and if any Jews are staking out Christian homes or Muslims are planning a K-Mart petition, let me know. That stuff would be awesome on Youtube.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Tuesday, December 12, 2006
Down the hill, Down the hill, Thousands of Russians
Fucking Russians. Mother. Fucking. Russians. I'm not being prejudicial here! Seriously, I've got a few Russian friends! I flirt with a hot Russian girl! That doesn't change the fact of Mother. Fucking. Russians.
Over the past year. One year. Not more than one. One. Russia has killed a dissenting journalist. They poisoned a dissenting ex-KGB spy with fucking Polonium. Beta particles up the wazoo, or yin-yang, if that's more your style. Thirdly, they said that, were there a giant asteroid heading toward our lovely planet, they would blow the thing out of the sky with nukes. Do you get why I say Mother. Fucking. Russians.?
This stuff is all out of a James Bond movie, I'm sure. They finally got down to it and have watched From Russia with Love and have outfitted all female government spies with poison-spike shoes. They're just waiting for the British secret service to come crashing in. That's what all this has to be! If it's not, then what is going on in their heads? Is it that the Cold War between the USA and the USSR is over so they have to kill somebody else? Could it be possible that Russia really IS like James Bond books and movies would have us believe? Is Zombie Hitler really in charge? Will Putin use his black belt for nefarious deeds?
Wait! No! The spy was killed to spread dissent in Russia! Wait, wait, something's wrong here. Isn't Russia that country that has had several bloody revolutions in the past century? Seems like that's the one...wasn't that the place that had a horribly oppressive government for much of this time? That seems like a spot-on statement, too. (Keep in mind, I'm not saying that the alternatives are paradise.) Doesn't it seem like, if people are satisfied with this government at all, a spy being killed wouldn't cause much trouble? Sure, sure, it's not a good thing, but if the Russian government killed this spy, that means they killed one dude. Any of the USSR leaders can be honestly said to have killed more than that one. Heck, if the USSR didn't fall apart under Stalin, this shouldn't do much.
That, of course, is logic. The Russian government has decided that, instead of just saying, "Yeah, we put Polonium in his food so he'd die," they'll claim it wasn't them and say that it's somebody with nefarious ends in store for the Ruskies. Right. An ex-spy dying. That's going to topple Mother Russia. For ninja's sake, he wasn't a politician! If Putin gets poisoned, I might agree, but this is an ex-spy. Ex as in not any more! Spy as in secret operative! The fact that he died shouldn't even be acknowledged by Russia. They should say that it's sad that this man, with whom nobody in Russian politics knew on more than a friendly level, died. They should have just tried letting this slip under the radar. What stopped that? Did he have his KGB Decoder Ring on? His official I'm a Fucking KGB Spy papers were in his jacket pocket? It doesn't matter if a spy is currently a spy or not! Spies are not a group you generally consider respectable. James Bond excluded, of course. And then only when played by Sean Connery.
So what are we left with? A dead spy and Russia trying to say that it's not them that did it. So, Russia, please answer us this; who DID do it? If it's somebody trying to topple the government, they're either a dissenter from Russia or somebody who doesn't like Russia at all. That could be...well, most people would be possibly in that category. We can eliminate one, though! Assuming that the food was secretly poisoned, Alexandra Litvinenko was very likely not the poisoner! We have one less subject!
As for the blowing shit up with nukes, Russia really needs to chill a little. I mean, more than they already do. It's cold in Russia, as I understand it. But back to asteroids. If they shot an asteroid with nuclear weapons, it would likely be destroyed as a unit. That means that the one big asteroid is now a bunch of smaller ones. Nice job, Russia. Now, instead of a single strike, there will be strikes all over! Nicely done! Best part of it? Those strikes will carry radioactive particles! It's like a worldwide dirty bomb. Well, it'd only hit one hemisphere, but you get the gist. I just hope that one of the sub-asteroids hits the moon and blows it to hell. I'd like to see that before I die.
Over the past year. One year. Not more than one. One. Russia has killed a dissenting journalist. They poisoned a dissenting ex-KGB spy with fucking Polonium. Beta particles up the wazoo, or yin-yang, if that's more your style. Thirdly, they said that, were there a giant asteroid heading toward our lovely planet, they would blow the thing out of the sky with nukes. Do you get why I say Mother. Fucking. Russians.?
This stuff is all out of a James Bond movie, I'm sure. They finally got down to it and have watched From Russia with Love and have outfitted all female government spies with poison-spike shoes. They're just waiting for the British secret service to come crashing in. That's what all this has to be! If it's not, then what is going on in their heads? Is it that the Cold War between the USA and the USSR is over so they have to kill somebody else? Could it be possible that Russia really IS like James Bond books and movies would have us believe? Is Zombie Hitler really in charge? Will Putin use his black belt for nefarious deeds?
Wait! No! The spy was killed to spread dissent in Russia! Wait, wait, something's wrong here. Isn't Russia that country that has had several bloody revolutions in the past century? Seems like that's the one...wasn't that the place that had a horribly oppressive government for much of this time? That seems like a spot-on statement, too. (Keep in mind, I'm not saying that the alternatives are paradise.) Doesn't it seem like, if people are satisfied with this government at all, a spy being killed wouldn't cause much trouble? Sure, sure, it's not a good thing, but if the Russian government killed this spy, that means they killed one dude. Any of the USSR leaders can be honestly said to have killed more than that one. Heck, if the USSR didn't fall apart under Stalin, this shouldn't do much.
That, of course, is logic. The Russian government has decided that, instead of just saying, "Yeah, we put Polonium in his food so he'd die," they'll claim it wasn't them and say that it's somebody with nefarious ends in store for the Ruskies. Right. An ex-spy dying. That's going to topple Mother Russia. For ninja's sake, he wasn't a politician! If Putin gets poisoned, I might agree, but this is an ex-spy. Ex as in not any more! Spy as in secret operative! The fact that he died shouldn't even be acknowledged by Russia. They should say that it's sad that this man, with whom nobody in Russian politics knew on more than a friendly level, died. They should have just tried letting this slip under the radar. What stopped that? Did he have his KGB Decoder Ring on? His official I'm a Fucking KGB Spy papers were in his jacket pocket? It doesn't matter if a spy is currently a spy or not! Spies are not a group you generally consider respectable. James Bond excluded, of course. And then only when played by Sean Connery.
So what are we left with? A dead spy and Russia trying to say that it's not them that did it. So, Russia, please answer us this; who DID do it? If it's somebody trying to topple the government, they're either a dissenter from Russia or somebody who doesn't like Russia at all. That could be...well, most people would be possibly in that category. We can eliminate one, though! Assuming that the food was secretly poisoned, Alexandra Litvinenko was very likely not the poisoner! We have one less subject!
As for the blowing shit up with nukes, Russia really needs to chill a little. I mean, more than they already do. It's cold in Russia, as I understand it. But back to asteroids. If they shot an asteroid with nuclear weapons, it would likely be destroyed as a unit. That means that the one big asteroid is now a bunch of smaller ones. Nice job, Russia. Now, instead of a single strike, there will be strikes all over! Nicely done! Best part of it? Those strikes will carry radioactive particles! It's like a worldwide dirty bomb. Well, it'd only hit one hemisphere, but you get the gist. I just hope that one of the sub-asteroids hits the moon and blows it to hell. I'd like to see that before I die.
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